He lost 11 ounces within the first 4 days, the pediatrician wasn't worried, it was within the realm of normal. By 12 days he'd lost another ounce. By three weeks he's gained 6 ounces. I was happy, he'd put on weight, breastfeeding was working! I assumed he'd keep gaining and by two months would weigh between 9-10 pounds.
Boy was I wrong /cry
At two months Connor was at 8 lbs 5 ounces.
The pediatrician gave me a can of formula and said supplement. I cried but said fine. So Monday morning was the first bottle I'd given him. I'd been avoiding it so he wouldn't confuse formula and nursing. He sucked it down after nursing for 40 minutes and was so happy! All day he was so happy.
Tuesday I had to give him more bottles, he'd nurse and cry while doing it, or refuse completely, i was so depressed.
Wednesday early (2am) Connor woke up, nursed for 40 minutes, then sucked down 4 ounces of formula and went back to sleep, while I got pissed. Angry with myself for not trying harder, angry with Ross for giving him bottles even when I asked him not too, and angry with the pediatrician and the doctor/formula company conspiracy to make you spend a billion dollars on formula to feed a baby. I decided I wasn't giving up!
Wednesday started out same as usual, had oatmeal for breakfast with my nursing tea and my fenugreek supplement. Connor nursed 3 times and didn't scream for a bottle. Then after his nap he nursed, and nursed, and nursed. And screamed. He wasn't swallowing, so I called the lactation consultant at the health department.
I have severe under supply, Connor was only gaining weight from the formula Ross was giving him before bed. I made the decision to go to formula last night.
It's been a tough journey for me, I tried really hard for two months, which is more than many people do. But it's not really about me, it's about what's best for Connor. Gaining weight and being happy are more important to me, I'll survive, and now so will he.
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